I was going to title this Entry #1 because it will be my first entry of my journaling my thoughts or rather journaling my thoughts out publicly. And like every other person, I have stalled writing this piece for the longest. And each time I remember that I said I was going to do this, the thoughts just keep piling up. I was going to do it on my own blog, but Truehost (My website hosting company) and laziness is really after my life
Less excuses, and let’s talk about what a bitch life is. It’s been a crazy run of events over the past few years, but last year’s own was breezy. Considered ending it all for a thousand times, and the thoughts of how sad my loved ones will be kept me going and living. This is not a cry for help or a cry for sympathy, but maybe putting this out will just help in reducing the heavy burdens in my heart.
For the longest I’ve always enjoyed my comfort zone, which generally is a bad thing. Not always a fan of trying new things. But last year, I got a better job offer. Better pay, beautiful people, and whatnot, but adjusting was taking a toll on him. Had to quit and return to where I was before, and that’s when it dawned on me that I’m too comfortable in my comfort zone.
Life’s a bitch because every day it seems it’s out there to get me and frustrate me, and let’s not even add to the fact that I’m in Nigeria. I read someone’s piece, and he said, “I am tired and not the type sleep fixes,” and that’s exactly how I have felt for a very long time. Life now turns into a chore for me, and the only days it feels different are when I get to spend it with my friends and family. I don’t think it ever ends
This feeling like you’ll never win. I’ve been down this low before; I’m not sure how far the line is, just hoping to find it someday. I am just trying to find some place of my own where life isn’t bitching. I guess I just have to keep trying.
On a lighter note, I’m back to listening to mainstream music compared to last year; I’ve had people put me on to great music. And I always take people’s music and movie recommendations seriously. I will be recommending to you two songs I have been feeling so far this week.
My music recommendations
- Feels Like Home by Naomi Sharon
Feels Like Home is one of those songs that sounds soft on the surface but hits deeper the more you listen. Naomi Sharon leans into a calm, almost hypnotic R&B sound, but the lyrics tell a more complicated story of being emotionally attached to something that isn’t entirely healthy yet still feels familiar and safe.
- Sweet Symphony by Joy Oladokun
Sweet Symphony feels like quiet reassurance wrapped in music. Joy Oladokun doesn’t try to overpower you; she pulls you in gently, then sits with you in whatever you’re feeling. The song leans into themes of identity, doubt, and acceptance, but without sounding heavy or preachy. It’s reflective like someone processing life in real time and choosing peace anyway. That balance is what makes it land. Her delivery is simple and controlled. No unnecessary vocal runs, no overproduction. Just clarity. The instrumentation follows the same path: soft, steady, and intentional, letting the message breathe. What stands out most is how human it feels. It doesn’t try to be perfect or resolved. It acknowledges the tension between struggle and hope, and that’s where the ‘symphony’ really sits: not in perfection but in coexistence. So if you’re into introspective music that feels honest rather than polished, this is worth sitting with. Not for hype, but for grounding.
I think I should close the curtains at this point. If you’ve read through my BS up to this point, I’ll buy you a PJ when life gets better and life is not bitching anymore. Until then, stay cheesed up, zero gbezome. 🫢❤️. Also, I would like to know your thoughts in the comment.
